In these days of economic instability, you wouldn't imagine that anyone would have the time or money to come up with new ideas and bring them to fruition. Well, three individuals have and they could revolutionise the way that we choose to escape from the turmoil of everyday life.
Larry Scragton is the first of these budding entrepreneurs. As a child, he used to love going to the theatre and cinema. He loved the spectacle, the extravagance, the confectionary. He also realised that he hated how the plays and films interfered with his experience of popcorn, ice cream and those super size buckets of fizzy drinks he could buy from the Foyer prior to the start of the performances and screenings. His solution? Well, he has created a chain of cultural emporiums, 'The Scrag Heaps', where paying audiences can sit in a smoke filled auditorium and stuff their faces with goodies, whilst films and plays continue behind them. Forget sophisticated sound systems and the beauty of the articulated voice, actors massaging the written word, this is about the experience of 'Now!' In case, you are wondering the smoke is provided courtesy of the cigarettes that are on sale outside. Some of them are e-cigarettes containing a complex blend of chemicals that may or may not be recognised as safe outside of an obscure laboratory in the middle of nowhere. Alcohol is also freely available. This chain puts the mastication back into culture. The 'ForgetCulture' chain is here and Larry hopes to open a venue in your town very soon.
Dean Woobarb, a fifty something (he is sixty two) ex-Army officer saw another niche market that was not being satisfied. He loved to travel. Well, actually, he realised that he couldn't stand flying, but he loved the airport experience. As such, he has created his own airport in Lewisham, satiating the needs of 'travellers' who enjoy the Customs experience. As such, from the moment you enter the airport, you are frisked by burly security men and women at twenty minute intervals. Your bag is ransacked and if you are very lucky, you are taken off to a side room and given a full cavity search. After five hours of this, you are informed that the airport is closing owing to massive delays (there are no planes) and invited to come back the following day. Dean Woobarb has been surprised how successful his venture has been. 'NoLewishamAirport' could be the first of many.
Nicky Rogerson is the last of the triumvirate and he has seen a gap in the market for a new kind of social experience. Everyone wants to feel loved and accepted. But conversely, they also want to experience the reality of most social situations. For every successful pairing, there is a person in the corner, crying into their beer and watering down their wine. Nicky's business involves renting a venue and inviting people along to simply ignore each other. Two hours of the cold shoulder treatment. Even the bar staff are encouraged to rebuke the patrons, mishearing the drink orders and shunning their requests for service. Towards the end of the evening, people are encouraged to express how they really feel about each other. Offensive comments about looks, smell and demeanour help to put the final nail into the coffin of self esteem. As you return to your everyday life, everything seems so much better. Nicky Rogerson is currently using the name 'Rogering Esteem' for his business but he is finding that the banks seem reluctant to fund him if he continues to use this name.
Next time, you hear the naysayers with their constant exhortations that there are no longer any good ideas, just think of these three individuals and remember that no idea, no matter how small should ever be ignored.
Barry Watt - 8th March 2014.
Afterword
The names and companies are all from my twisted imagination and should not be confused with anyone alive or dead. These characters and companies only exist in my mind, which is a good thing.
Every country has a Customs and they serve a very important role. At the very least, they encourage the habit of queuing, which is a very useful skill.
BW.
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